The following is an audio track for Memory Beauteous in Volume 3, Issue 3
The People’s Republic of Snot
has, once again, sent an invasion fleet
into my head
and I’m tripping
balls on a bag of shrooms
because laughing at the news with God
is the only sensible way
to ride out a head cold. I’m wearing
thirty-dollar socks and I’m pretty sure
my feet have an erection.
My internal organs
I have weak thumbs
and a mouthful of disease
but it’s only five episodes long. Netflix and Hell
are kind of the same thing,
kind of perfect on a cold day, but I want
to go outside, run jump ride a bike
eat mystery meat on a stick. The future was
supposed to be flying cars and teleportation,
not bagging our own groceries and televisions
that tweet. #bullshit
I stood in front of a 7-Eleven
without my penis
selling a wide variety of pork pie hats
(as you do).
My mother crouched nearby
in the underbrush
blood stringing off her chin
eating a sable.
memories of cheating
on women. I wish
I could blame it on being younger.
Where on earth is 6am?
in my mind in the mirror
my beard says
walt whitman hey man, got any change?
Write to Congress! Demand they solve
all 32,000 FreeCell games!
Demand they recognize orange
as a primary color! Is there any problem
Wish I still had my old Pee Chee
folders. The ones with the right
colors (dried blood on goldenrod).
Pulling rainbows out of my under-
wear, a look of mock surprise on my face, routine
disappointment on my wife’s. Honey—
Is this really every week?
All this mayhem? This bombing
of countries with toys? To save face?
Submissions are currently closed until March 16, 2016. Thank you for your patience!
Stephanie Hammer writes about dealing with death at Gravel Magazine. A powerful piece. Read it here: http://www.gravelmag.com/stephanie-barbe-hammer.html
Volume 3, Issue 1 is now available online! We are slowly moving back to our regular posting schedule. Volume 3, Issue 2 should be posting in early September. We’ll be working over the next few days/weeks to get Volume 2 posted for download.
Keep your eyes open. We’ve got some big news coming up in the next couple weeks and hope you will celebrate with us! Thank you for your support!
Our deadline for Volume 2, Issue 3 is November 15th! Submit now: eastjasminereview.submittable.com
We are especially looking for fiction and nonfiction for this issue.
- How do you decide to accept or reject a piece? For poetry, the last line can’t suck. If you have two or three great lines but your ending falls off, it’s like you’re deflating a balloon in my face. Also, I’ve been taught to detest the bullet-spray of adverbs and obvious rhymes. I admire a writer who tinkers with unconventional imagery and language to convey something, even if it’s just a small something.
- How long do you usually spend with a piece before you decide? I give each piece 2-3 read-throughs if possible before deciding. Sometimes one read is all it takes to know if I love it or not, but I’ve had a ‘maybe’ poem grow a bit on me after another read.
- What is your favorite piece from East Jasmine Review? I like a piece of all the pieces.
- What is your vision for East Jasmine? To read through it and say, “Yeah, I stand by all of this work.” To be consistently surprised by the quality, regardless of the author’s background.
- What is your favorite publication (excluding ours!)?I don’t play favorites, but some great ones are Carnival, Cadence Collective and Washing Machine Press (currently on hiatus).
- What is your favorite poem? “Any fool can get into an ocean…” by Jack Spicer
- What project(s) are you working on now? I’m working on a poetry chapbook that has much to do with traveling. I’m also working on a collection of hopeful non-fiction pieces, but it’s still super secret. Even to me.
- Do you have a writing schedule? How do you write? Back when I was a kid, I was able to write for hours at a time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. Now I sit down and have anxiety attacks over finishing one poem. What I’m trying to say is, I get the most done between 1-4am, sober or not.
- Name someone influential in your writing life. John Brantingham, author of hundreds of poems, stories and essays published in the US and UK. Without this bearded man’s guidance, I would never have had the courage or know-how to submit my work anywhere. I’m not only a better writer because of him, but I’m also published and a tad more sarcastic.
- What is one thing you always get on a hamburger/sandwich? Pickles, unless we’re talking pb&j.
- What is your favorite, unusually-named color? Shame.
- Cat or dog, or other furry-creature person? Cats and ferrets. I’ve never had either of those hump anything in front of me.
- What are your three favorite TV shows, airing or not airing? Breaking Bad, the seasons of which I finished watching illegally in China. Arrested Development and Parks and Recreation, because I have go-to people that watch them with me, and I get tired of laughing alone.
- What is your Harry Potter House or Game of Thrones House? Slytherin, for Harry Potter. I think I’m the only person who hasn’t watched Game of Thrones yet.
- Which well-known personality is your spirit animal? Does Thom Yorke count as a spirit animal?
- How do you decide to accept or reject a piece? For fiction, it’s all about the story and characters, and of course competent writing. No matter how excellent a storyline is, without skills, it is simply difficult to read. For poetry, I love lyrical poems and poems that tell stories. If a poem isn’t written well or is too vague in that I can’t “see” it, then I have to pass. For nonfiction, I love insights and lyricalness. Good writing is good, same as all the other genres. I think nonfiction is the easiest to relate to, and I want to relate.
- How long do you usually spend with a piece before you decide? Once I start reading, it usually takes me about 1-10 minutes to decide. I’ll often re-read the poem or story or the first parts to refresh my memory, but I generally go with my first impressions.
- What is your favorite piece from East Jasmine Review? Oh god! There are so many! I’ll pick one of each. I think my favorite fictional story is “Birch (An Origin Story)” by Emma Silverman from Volume 1, Issue 3. One of the reasons I really like it is the dreamy mood and tone. It’s very fairytale-like in feeling and so image driven. The otherworldly feel is so cool, and so wonderful. I’m not sure if this is my favorite poem, but it is one I certainly enjoy: “Split Tongue” by Shauna Osborn from Volume 1, Issue 2. You can read it/listen to it here. I really think there is something so different about the language contrasts and that’s why it stands out in my mind. For nonfiction, my favorite is “You Have Tried Your Best To Please Everyone, But It Just Isn’t Happening” by Sauvignon Sing from Volume 1, Issue 3. There are some great, poignant moments and humor that mix to form a good story. I’m a big fan!
- What is your vision for East Jasmine? I’ve recently update our mission statement. Obviously I’m looking to keep publishing amazingly talented writers. I’m also looking to give a voice to those that traditionally have not had as much access to publication. On top of all that, I believe it is fair to compensate our authors for their hard work. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been able to happen yet. East Jasmine has bills to pay. If only I were rich!
- What is your favorite publication (excluding ours!)? Poetry Magazine, American Short Fiction, and Tin House. Three of my favorites! I really need to subscribe again….
- What project(s) are you working on now? Oh! So, so many. For my own writing projects, I’m currently editing a gay YA romance, editing a book on Meditation and Writer’s Block that has come from my classes, writing/editing a few online classes that have come from my live teaching, rewriting and world-building in a Science Fantasy book I first wrote years and years ago, and of course my work with East Jasmine. Needless to say, I’m busy!
- Do you have a writing schedule? How do you write? Yes and no. I currently have a calendar with specific project goals with one to two writing goals per day. Because I have so many projects at once, I spend on day working on one and another on a different project. So far, it’s been working well. I typically write at home, though I go to two write-ins a week and occasionally sneak out to coffee shops when I’ve got an extra few dollars. I use both keyboard and long hand to write.
- Name someone influential in your writing life. John Brantingham. Such a great man. He’s very encouraging to all writers.
- What is one thing you always get on a hamburger/sandwich? If I can? Avocado/guacamole and bacon. SO DELICIOUS.
- What is your favorite, unusually-named color? I like periwinkle. I also like rutilant (thanks dictionary.com)
- Cat or dog, or other furry-creature person? I adore cats. I also like a few dogs. But I think foxes are the cutest thing ever invented.
- What are you three favorite TV shows, airing or not airing? Not airing: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (yeeaah), Xena: Warrior Princess (double yeeaah). Airing: Teen Wolf (season 4 is now airing!)
- What is your Harry Potter House or Game of Thrones House? Harry Potter house I think would be Hufflepuff, at least that’s what all the quizzes say! As for Game of Thrones? Idk I really like the Starks, but they didn’t do so well. Maybe Tyrell. 🙂
- Which well-known personality is your spirit animal? Jenna Marbles (oh how I adore thee).
The Mt. SAC Annual Writers’ Weekend is an amazing three-day conference from April 25 to April 27 (Friday through Sunday) at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, CA.
East Jasmine Review will be attending the Publisher’s Panel on Sunday, April 27 from 10:30 to 11:55 in Building 28, Room 103. Please join us to here about our magazine, what we believe in and to get a chance to sit with our Editor, K. Andrew Turner and talk to him about your work and what you can do to improve it.
Mr. Turner will also be teaching two workshops over the weekend. Friday, April 25 9:30-10:45 Meditation for Writers (Building 26D, Room G431) and Friday, April 25 10:55-12:10 Fiction Workshop – Andrew Turner (Building 26D, Room G431).
This three-day weekend conference IS FREE, plus parking which is $3 a day. This is not an opportunity to be missed, so clear your calendar!